A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one.
"Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father, "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father, "We're glad you were able to come."
Then the daughter arrived, "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time."
"You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college."
"Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father, "And cheap ones too."
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Joke - Stand Up
A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses.
The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up.
The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up.
The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Weird News - Prank video for 'world's best job' stars bin Laden
The Associated Press
More than 10,000 people have jumped at the chance to become the caretaker of a tropical Australian island — including a prankster identifying himself as terror mastermind Osama bin Laden.
A 30-second video available on YouTube shows an actual video of the bearded al-Qaida leader with garble dubbed over his real voice and subtitles stating why he is right for the job.
"I enjoy the outdoors and sandy areas," the subtitles read. "I've got experience with videos, delegating tasks and experience with large scale event coordination."
Tourism Queensland, which is coordinating the contest, confirmed that a person using bin Laden's name had lodged an official application but it was rejected as inappropriate, the Sydney Morning Herald reported Wednesday.
Bin Laden is believed to be in hiding somewhere along the mountainous border between Afghanistan and Pakistan and occasionally releases video and audio messages.
Queensland launched the "Best Job in the World" campaign on Jan. 12, calling for video applications from people interested in a 150,000 Australian dollar ($100,000) contract to relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for six months while writing a blog to promote the island.
The job is part of a AU$1.7 million ($1.1 million) campaign to publicize the charms of northeastern Queensland state. The employee will live free on the island, exploring the reef and posting videos and photos on a weekly blog.
Some of the most popular videos that have been vetted and approved by Queensland Tourism staff can be viewed on the department's Web site.
More than 10,000 people have jumped at the chance to become the caretaker of a tropical Australian island — including a prankster identifying himself as terror mastermind Osama bin Laden.
A 30-second video available on YouTube shows an actual video of the bearded al-Qaida leader with garble dubbed over his real voice and subtitles stating why he is right for the job.
"I enjoy the outdoors and sandy areas," the subtitles read. "I've got experience with videos, delegating tasks and experience with large scale event coordination."
Tourism Queensland, which is coordinating the contest, confirmed that a person using bin Laden's name had lodged an official application but it was rejected as inappropriate, the Sydney Morning Herald reported Wednesday.
Bin Laden is believed to be in hiding somewhere along the mountainous border between Afghanistan and Pakistan and occasionally releases video and audio messages.
Queensland launched the "Best Job in the World" campaign on Jan. 12, calling for video applications from people interested in a 150,000 Australian dollar ($100,000) contract to relax on Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for six months while writing a blog to promote the island.
The job is part of a AU$1.7 million ($1.1 million) campaign to publicize the charms of northeastern Queensland state. The employee will live free on the island, exploring the reef and posting videos and photos on a weekly blog.
Some of the most popular videos that have been vetted and approved by Queensland Tourism staff can be viewed on the department's Web site.