Sunday, May 31, 2009
Joke - Looking for me!
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialled the employees’ home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”.
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
“Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss.
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper!”
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, “Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, “They’re looking for me!”
He dialled the employees’ home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?”.
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?”
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?” the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes,” came the answer.
“May I talk with her?”
Again, the small voice whispered, “No.”
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
“Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy,” whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?” asked the boss.
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman” came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper,” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper!”
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, “Why are they there?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, “They’re looking for me!”
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Funny Product - This Is Not A Joke Funny Welcome Doormat
Product Features
* olefin
* measures 18 inches by 27 inches
* great gift
Product Description
This indoor/outdoor doormat offers up a hysterical 'interactive greeting' for homes, offices and starter mansions. Made of 100% Olefin® with bound stitched edges. Printed with color-fast ink for durability.
* olefin
* measures 18 inches by 27 inches
* great gift
Product Description
This indoor/outdoor doormat offers up a hysterical 'interactive greeting' for homes, offices and starter mansions. Made of 100% Olefin® with bound stitched edges. Printed with color-fast ink for durability.
Joke - Engineer
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “This is where your problem is.”
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $5000 from the engineer for his services.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded:
One chalk mark . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1
Knowing where to put it . . . . . . . $4999
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “This is where your problem is.”
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $5000 from the engineer for his services.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded:
One chalk mark . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1
Knowing where to put it . . . . . . . $4999
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Funny Product - Trust Me I'm A Jedi T-shirt, Funny T-shirts
Product Description
These hilarious t-shirts are made of a 100% fully machine washable cotton/poly blend for a cool and comfortable fit every time. They feature insanely funny phrases and pictures. Shocking and bold, stand out at the bar, school or just lounge around the house.
These hilarious t-shirts are made of a 100% fully machine washable cotton/poly blend for a cool and comfortable fit every time. They feature insanely funny phrases and pictures. Shocking and bold, stand out at the bar, school or just lounge around the house.
Funny Product - BOYFRIEND PILLOW
Product Features
* Soft and comfortable body pillow
* Great sleeping companion for lonely people
* Feel the embrace a real man without the snoring, smell, tossing or turning
* A Fun and Original gift idea
Product Description
Boyfriend Pillow lets you cuddle all night! Get the comfort and support you crave from a guy without the constant snoring, tossing and turning. Ultra-comfymemory foam is shaped like a man's torso to hug you snugly and make you feel warm and safe while you sleep.
* Soft and comfortable body pillow
* Great sleeping companion for lonely people
* Feel the embrace a real man without the snoring, smell, tossing or turning
* A Fun and Original gift idea
Product Description
Boyfriend Pillow lets you cuddle all night! Get the comfort and support you crave from a guy without the constant snoring, tossing and turning. Ultra-comfymemory foam is shaped like a man's torso to hug you snugly and make you feel warm and safe while you sleep.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Funny Product - My Weigh FunWeigh Fun Talking Digital Bath Bathroom Weight Scale 440 Lb Capacity
Product Features
* The My Weigh FUNWEIGH is the hottest new gift item
* It not only is a full featured talking scale but it also jokes with you about your weight
* Extra-large, stable weighing platform - Reads in Pounds/Kilograms
* Weigh Capacity 440 lb /200kg - Accurate within 1% of actual weight
* Operates on 4 AA batteries (included!) - 30 Year Lifetime Warranty
Product Description
FunWeigh Fun Talking Digital Bath Bathroom Weight Scale 440 Lb Capacity The My Weigh FUNWEIGH is the hottest new gift item. It not only is a full featured talking scale but it also jokes with you about your weight Here s an example weighing; Two Hundred Thirty Four Point Five Pounds, You re not big boned you re just Fat! The Funweigh cycles randomly through 8 joke expressions including You re a Deucer, Its a good thing I talk because you probably cant see me, gasp gasp cant breathe, Back AWAY from the scale "Hey, get Pavarotti off me!" This scale is a sure fire hit for the Holiday season. Its available but please book your orders quickly as were sure to sell out quick! Various funny voice commands (can say 'hello', 'good-bye', 'I think you just broke me!', 'Is someone else on here with you?', 'Eh, eh...I can't breathe','It's a good thing I can talk, 'cause you probably can't see me', among other sayings) Extra-large, stable weighing platform. Automatically turns on when you step on the scale (feature called 'Step-&-Weigh'). Reads in Pounds/Kilograms. Accurate within 1% of actual weight. Extra-large digital-display. Voice/Jokes can be disabled (for use as a normal scale) Weigh Capacity 440 lb /200kg Accuracy / Reads to 0.2lb / 0.1 kg Various Funny Voice Commands Extra Large Stable Weighing Platform Automatically turns on when you step on the scale (Step & Weigh) Reads in Pounds and Kilograms Accurate within 1% of Body Weight Extra Large Digital Display Operates on 4 AA batteries (included!) Easy to use and program You can turn voice off 30 Year Lifetime Warranty
* The My Weigh FUNWEIGH is the hottest new gift item
* It not only is a full featured talking scale but it also jokes with you about your weight
* Extra-large, stable weighing platform - Reads in Pounds/Kilograms
* Weigh Capacity 440 lb /200kg - Accurate within 1% of actual weight
* Operates on 4 AA batteries (included!) - 30 Year Lifetime Warranty
Product Description
FunWeigh Fun Talking Digital Bath Bathroom Weight Scale 440 Lb Capacity The My Weigh FUNWEIGH is the hottest new gift item. It not only is a full featured talking scale but it also jokes with you about your weight Here s an example weighing; Two Hundred Thirty Four Point Five Pounds, You re not big boned you re just Fat! The Funweigh cycles randomly through 8 joke expressions including You re a Deucer, Its a good thing I talk because you probably cant see me, gasp gasp cant breathe, Back AWAY from the scale "Hey, get Pavarotti off me!" This scale is a sure fire hit for the Holiday season. Its available but please book your orders quickly as were sure to sell out quick! Various funny voice commands (can say 'hello', 'good-bye', 'I think you just broke me!', 'Is someone else on here with you?', 'Eh, eh...I can't breathe','It's a good thing I can talk, 'cause you probably can't see me', among other sayings) Extra-large, stable weighing platform. Automatically turns on when you step on the scale (feature called 'Step-&-Weigh'). Reads in Pounds/Kilograms. Accurate within 1% of actual weight. Extra-large digital-display. Voice/Jokes can be disabled (for use as a normal scale) Weigh Capacity 440 lb /200kg Accuracy / Reads to 0.2lb / 0.1 kg Various Funny Voice Commands Extra Large Stable Weighing Platform Automatically turns on when you step on the scale (Step & Weigh) Reads in Pounds and Kilograms Accurate within 1% of Body Weight Extra Large Digital Display Operates on 4 AA batteries (included!) Easy to use and program You can turn voice off 30 Year Lifetime Warranty
Funny Product - Fanny Bank Funny Farting Ass Crack Coin Drop Bank
Product Features
* Makes a fart sound when you add money
* Kids love to save money in this bank
* Great Gift
Product Description
Stop leaving those coins on the dresser, in some old water jug tucked away in a closet, or in your car's ashtray. With our hilarious Fanny Bank, saving your pennies will be a real gas! Drop in a coin and hear this bank fart in digital audio. It's so loud and so disgusting, you won't want to stop dropping coins in the crack! This bank is fun, practical and entertaining! And don't worry, you don't have to smash this piggy bank, the coins can be easily removed by sliding off the top of the bank. (Requires 3 AA Batteries, Not Included)
* Makes a fart sound when you add money
* Kids love to save money in this bank
* Great Gift
Product Description
Stop leaving those coins on the dresser, in some old water jug tucked away in a closet, or in your car's ashtray. With our hilarious Fanny Bank, saving your pennies will be a real gas! Drop in a coin and hear this bank fart in digital audio. It's so loud and so disgusting, you won't want to stop dropping coins in the crack! This bank is fun, practical and entertaining! And don't worry, you don't have to smash this piggy bank, the coins can be easily removed by sliding off the top of the bank. (Requires 3 AA Batteries, Not Included)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Funny Product - Child's Toilet Bowl Costume
Product Features
* Makes a great Halloween costume
* Costume includes fabric mounted over foam
* Costume also includes silver lame flush handle and over the head bodysuit
* Costume fits most kids
* Makes a great Halloween costume
* Costume includes fabric mounted over foam
* Costume also includes silver lame flush handle and over the head bodysuit
* Costume fits most kids
Joke - Shave and a Haircut
A man enters a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
"Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber.
"Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
"Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber.
"Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Funny Product - Sumo Wrestler Costume Adult
Technical Details
* This is a BRAND NEW costume in original packaging.
* This is a great Halloween costume item!
* Size: Standard Oversized Costume
Product Description
Practice the ancient art of Sumo! Gather around the ring this Halloween and let the bout begin. Costume includes bodysuit and headpiece. This adult men's costume is made of 100% Polyester. Hand wash in cold water, Line Dry. Sumo Wrestler funny costume for men is available in adult size Standard Size 40-44.
* This is a BRAND NEW costume in original packaging.
* This is a great Halloween costume item!
* Size: Standard Oversized Costume
Product Description
Practice the ancient art of Sumo! Gather around the ring this Halloween and let the bout begin. Costume includes bodysuit and headpiece. This adult men's costume is made of 100% Polyester. Hand wash in cold water, Line Dry. Sumo Wrestler funny costume for men is available in adult size Standard Size 40-44.
Funny Product - White Tuxedo T-Shirt
Product Features
* cotton
Product Description
100% preshrunk cotton with design printed on the front, 5.6 oz with shoulder-to-shoulder tape with a seamless collar, and double needle construction throughout.
* cotton
Product Description
100% preshrunk cotton with design printed on the front, 5.6 oz with shoulder-to-shoulder tape with a seamless collar, and double needle construction throughout.
Funny Product - Party Pooper Fake Human Poop
Product Features
* Fake Realistic Poop
* Looks so Real
* Scare your friends and family with this
Product Description
Imagine the look on your girlfriend, friend, or wifes face when she walks in the bathroom and encounters this "Load". This fake poop provides hours of entertainment and horror!
* Fake Realistic Poop
* Looks so Real
* Scare your friends and family with this
Product Description
Imagine the look on your girlfriend, friend, or wifes face when she walks in the bathroom and encounters this "Load". This fake poop provides hours of entertainment and horror!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Joke - Heart Transplant
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.
The doctor said, "We have three possible donors.
The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident.
The second donor is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet.
And, the third donor is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years.
Which do you want?"
After some careful thought, the patient replied, "I'll take the lawyer's heart."
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the lawyer's heart.
"It was easy," explained the patient...
"I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
The doctor said, "We have three possible donors.
The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident.
The second donor is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet.
And, the third donor is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years.
Which do you want?"
After some careful thought, the patient replied, "I'll take the lawyer's heart."
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the lawyer's heart.
"It was easy," explained the patient...
"I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Joke - Waking Up
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife says, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"
The wife says, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband says, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
The husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"
Joke - Honest Bumper Stickers
-- All men are idiots, and I married their king.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
-- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.
-- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
-- Keep honking. I'm reloading.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
-- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.
-- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
-- Keep honking. I'm reloading.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Joke - Hospital Bill
Mr. Smith was brought to a Catholic hospital, and taken quickly in for heart surgery.
The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Nun, who was waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand.
“We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Then can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun questioned sternly.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered, “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God!”
“Really?,” said Mr. Smith, “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law!”
The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Nun, who was waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand.
“We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Then can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun questioned sternly.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered, “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God!”
“Really?,” said Mr. Smith, “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law!”
Joke - 50 Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. Censored by your son.
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say Ding! at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. Censored by your son.
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say Ding! at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!